But He Says He Loves Me by Dina McMillan

 

Allen & Unwin Publisher Review:

 

This is the first self-help book for women that details the earliest signs of manipulative and abusive behaviour. It is designed to help women identify the dangers before they become emotionally entangled in a destructive relationship.

 

This is not your normal self-help book. In fact, it is different from anything you have ever read. The information is not dressed up to be pretty or nice, but it may change your life.

Most advice for women about bad relationships starts too late. This book shows you how to identify and get out of a relationship with an emotionally abusive man before you sleep with him, move in with him, marry him or have children with him. And if you're already entangled with a man who is manipulating and hurting you, it explains how you became trapped by him so you can decide whether or not to get out.

Once you read this book, you will not have to guess if a guy is trying to manipulate you: you will know.

 

 

Reader Review:

 

I found this book to be an exceptional read!  While the book may not be every woman's cup of tea, it helped me to understand many of the things that went on during the course of my relationship that I really struggled with.

 

On the right side of every two-page spread was the female version and that was what I started with, reading each page till the end.  On the left side was the male version, so once I felt comfortable with the female one, I then went back to the beginning and read the male one.  Unlike some readers I did not develop an instant dislike of men.  I did however develop an understanding of some of the more destructive elements of our relationship that slowly wore me down to the point where I could stand it no longer and left.

 

I would recommend this book to any woman who has already left her relationship and is still struggling to understand 'why' as it really helped me to get through a lot of the angst that I felt, enabling me to move on.  I have also taken on board that I see myself in some of the 'male' behaviour and while I would like to console myself with the old line 'I was only protecting myself' I believe that now that I can see those behaviours I will endeavour to guard against them in any future relationship.  I believe that women as well as men are capable of the same behaviours.

 

My final word on 'But He Says He Loves Me' is that we should not fall victim to the belief that it is only men who can do the things described in Dina's book but to guard against all relationships that fail to fully nurture and empower women.